The infant mortality rate amongst new alt.* newsgroups is high: news administrators don't want to carry them unless there's a proven demand ... but how do you prove the demand for a newsgroup that doesn't yet exist on most newsfeeds? Derek Potter, creator of an unpoliced meeting place for former (and current) btinternetters called alt.internet.providers.uk.btinternet ensured its early survival by crossposting to alt.fan.karl-malden.nose and alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk, whose devotees describe their anarchic (and frequently foul-mouthed) satires as "usenet performance art". The nosers and flonkers made the gleeful discovery that they could also crosspost into the supposedly closed (customers only) newsgroup btinternet.support (see Dear Steven), prompting BTi to impose panic security measures that caused many crossposted messages to go missing from their servers. The following extract represents an attempt to reassemble part of the thread "ß|µß got his first netcop!" which celebrated the withdrawal of ß|µß's MSN account (allegedly at the instigation of BT Internet Support). The thread has been much mangled by BTi's anti-crosspost measures: some of the vast - and often unsnipped - signatures (a Nose hallmark) have, for example, been lost...
From i_like_you_very_much_will_you_be_my_friend_we_can_go_skip_rope_together_and
_laugh_and_sing_and_jump_and_bounce_and_kill_werewolves_together_it_will_be_KEWL
_so_whaddya_s@y_duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudez.com_if_you_want_to_send_email_you_
must_run_this_fake_email_address_through_a_special_bilinear_fractal_decryption_
algorithm_and_it_will_reveal_my_sooper_sekrit_identity_thanks_ok_bye
In <7t01s0$co8$1@nntpd.databasix.com>, Peon Control wrote:Dear BT Internet Support, Here in the States, ISP support peons are generally clueless and inept high-school geeks who are just nerdy enough to want to talk about compooters all day but are way too fucked in the head and ignorant to ever get a real job. They like to download porn all day and talk about their favorite Star Trek and Babylon 5 episodes. From time to time, they bolster their quivering egos by administering their supreme netcop ability and prance around as if they actually were something other than the pathetic rejects they really are. So, I was just wondering-- is this how it is in the UK ISPs too? Thanks, PS-- Fuck you all, you netcopping assholes. You are now on my shit-list, which is not a very good place to be. Now is a good time to tremble in fear. >>>>> <sniff> Blub's first netcopping. Today our boy becomes a man. >>>>>> >>>>>>>We're expecting a bizarre and horrible rebirth any day now. Meanwhile, >>>>>>>here is a cascade: >>>>>>> >>>>>>>ALL HAIL ß|µß, FOR HE HACE LOST HIS NETCOP CHERRY!!1!! >>>>>>ALL HAIL ß|µß, FOR BTINERNET THINKS HE LOOKS JESS LAHK A HAWG!!!2!!! >>>>>ALL HAIL ß|µß, WELCOME TO ALTOPIA HEADER MUNGE LAND!!!3!! >>>>ALL HAIL ß|µß, FOR HE HACE BEEN RELEASED FROM THE BONDAGE OF MSN!!!4!!! >>>All hail ß|µß, for he hace been chastised, and is now therefore chaste!!!5!! >>ALL HAIL ß|µß, FOR HE HACE GRATENICE!!!6!!! >ALL HAIL ??!?, FOR MY NEWSREADER HAS ERASED HIS NAME!!!7!!! ALL HAIL ß|µß, FOR HE IS NOW A NET.MARTYR!!!!!8!!!! -- =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= * The Reverend Meowatilla Al' Rashad * = Chairman, Nat'l Assocation for the Advancement of Non-Delusional People = * Minister of Were Hospitality, alt.fan.karl-malden.nose * = = * /\--/\ OFFICIAL ALT.HORROR.WEREWOLVES /\--/\ * = < ^..^ > BELLOWERS SOCIETY < ^..^ > = * \~U/ MEMBER # 24 \~U/ * = = *=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=* Memorable Quotes from those LUVABLE WERES: "Why yes I am a meow-whore" "Every single instance of abuse reported on Usenet is directly connected
to either Altopia or Databasix." "Actually, my father passed me around after he was finished." "a rose by any other name would smell as sweat" "I am not making anything up. I don't post bullshit on newsgroups." "My thought patterns are not within human norms" "I bite nearly everyone!" "I have a spiked collar that I want to add a D- and O-ring to. What's
the easiest way to do this? .. Any sources for high-quality single-tailed whips
in the Boston area?"
=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
\;,._ _,,-
\`;, `-._ _..--'''```--.._ __.-',;(
\ `;, `:. , ;. . :' .;` /
; `;;, .: :. ,;;` /
\ ';/ \:: : . ::/ \;` ;
).' __.._` '_..__ `./
/< \\ /I`, ,'I\ // >
/\ `;-7/_\ -- /_\7-;' /\
//. `"':" ;; ":`"' /\
|/ . .:' __..__ `. \|
/\|: ./. `=_ _=' .\ |/\
/:(/::. \/ .::\) /
////=-v-'`-v-=\\\\
///`Nx_\;;/_xN'\\\
/ / `"w==w"' \ \
/ \
MEOW, BITCH!
_*MEOW*_ Meow MMEEOOWW M*E*O*W MeoW meow ***MEOW*** MeOw mEoW
Meow MMEEOOWW M*E*O*W MeoW meow ***MEOW*** MeOw mEoW _*MEOW*_
MMEEOOWW M*E*O*W MeoW meow ***MEOW*** MeOw mEoW _*MEOW*_ Meow
M*E*O*W MeoW meow ***MEOW*** MeOw mEoW _*MEOW*_ Meow MMEEOOWW
=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
From Disgusted@Bradford-on-Avon.com Thu Sep 30 20:21:30 1999 On Thu, 30 Sep 1999 11:36:22 -0500, i_like_you_very_much_will_you_be_my_friend_snip@oh_so_witty.chomp (Rev. Meowatilla Al' Rashad) wrote:
Dear BT Internet Support,
May well be in small ISPs, but call centres (why can't you Yanks spell
centre?) are another matter.
BTi Support is located in Thurso, a remote, God-forsaken town in the far
North of Scotland. This town used to supply labour (why can't you naive colonials
spell labour?) for the Dounreay fast breeder reactor; this was supposedly an
experimental "super-efficient" means of generating power but was in fact used
to produce the plutonium needed for the US weapons programme (why can't you
Marmite-haters spell programme?).
Now that you've got enough of the stuff to destroy the planet 10 times
over with enough left over to manufacture a new McRelish, the reactor has closed
down, and for many of this benighted blackspot's inhabitants, the only alternative
to unemployment is temporary contract work - without adequate training - providing
Support for a poorly-managed and underequipped ISP.
Before giving the poor buggers yet more stick, why don't you maple syrup-eaters
learn to spell - and pronounce - aluminium?
-- (no - *that's* STRATFORD on Avon, you uneducated settler)
From spooge
On Thu, 30 Sep 1999 19:21:30 GMT, Disgusted@Bradford-on-Avon.com mumbled
like a drunken English fop:
May well be in small ISPs, but call centres (why can't you Yanks spell centre?) are another matter.
Stop crying about having your asses kicked in 1776. Why can't you people
learn to cook? The word is not pronounced centrah, it's pronounced center. You
do realize that the spelling you use is fucking french, right?
BTi Support is located in Thurso, a remote, God-forsaken town in the far North of Scotland. This town used to supply labour (why can't you naive colonials spell labour?)
Why can't you people win a war without the help of the "colonials" (Kicking
the ass of the poor, underfed, under equiped Argies doesn''t count either Chester).
Why include a fucking "U" that you don't pronounce? Why not throw in a couple
of "zed's" and a fucking X and Y too?
breeder reactor; this was supposedly an experimental "super-efficient" means of generating power but was in fact used to produce the plutonium needed for the US weapons programme (why can't you Marmite-haters spell programme?).
Because it ain't pronounced programmmmmmmmme buster.
Now that you've got enough of the stuff to destroy the planet 10 times over with enough left over to manufacture a new McRelish, A fucking Blighty bloke complains about McFood? You people can't even cook peas for Bob's sake.
blackspot's inhabitants, the only alternative to unemployment is temporary contract work - without adequate training - providing Support for a poorly-managed and underequipped ISP.
Ain't socialist systems _wonderful_...?
Before giving the poor buggers yet more stick, why don't you maple syrup-eaters learn to spell - and pronounce - aluminium?
Oh, ouch, that really fucking hurts. Go bleed your own trees... wait, you've
already killed all of them, haven't you...?
--
Must really suck to have an "empire" that amounts to, what, some sheep
hills on some shitty little islands off the coast of Argentina...
From abuse@beefuckingtee.con (BT Internet Abuse) Sat 2 Oct 1999 19:19:18
spooge wrote:
Your slanderous comments about our great Empire are intolerable. The British
Empire is far more than just the Falkland Islands. Why, there's also St Helena
(lovely place, just don't ask me to find it on the map) and that other one...oh,
what's it called? Next to Taiwan. Or am I thinking of something else? I think
we gave that one back actually. Well, we've got a station in Antarctica! One
day we'll even send a crew down there! Then you'll be sorry! >m>>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!111!!!!!!!111!!!!!!! [mhm23x23] >e>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!222!!!!!!!222!!!!!! [Smeeter 31] >o>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!333!!!!!!!333!!!!!!!!!!!!! [T253] >w>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!444!!!!!!!444!!!!!!!!!!! [KotAGoR]
From "spooge" On Sat, 2 Oct
1999 19:19:18 +0100, abuse@beefuckingtee.con (BT Internet Abuse) wrote: -- >m>>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!111!!!!!!!111!!!!!!! [mhm23x23] >e>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!222!!!!!!!222!!!!!! [Smeeter 31] >o>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!333!!!!!!!333!!!!!!!!!!!!! [T253] >w>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!444!!!!!!!444!!!!!!!!!!! [KotAGoR]Dear Medicalcatastrophe@beefuckingteesupport: You snipped the best part, the "ps:". You do realize that since I am posting from one of the few remaining colonies of the UK, I took my life and posting future in my hands when I made those boldly anti-Brit statements? I mean hell, Britian has tried, ever since 1867, to pawn off Canada, and nobody is interested. Lately we've been invaded by ex-colonials from Hong Kong, so perhaps since they were successful in getting that country booted out of the Empire they may be able to fuck this place up enough that the Queen (tm) will dump this place too. I'm hoping that we get annexed by some really cool place, like maybe Freedonia, or Monaco, or perhaps New Scotland. All it'll take to defeat the "mighty" Canadian Armed Forces is to wait for both of the guys with the keys to the armed skidoo to go on vacation in Montana and it's all over bar the shouting... The spare keys for the armed skidoo are kept under the floormat of the Air Canada Centre Zamboni if anyone is interested... Spooge
From x@y.com (ß|µß - The Toast With The Most!) Sun, 03 Oct 1999 I can't believe this "spooge" character. Just get a load of *this*.
On Sat, 2 Oct 1999 19:19:18 +0100, abuse@beefuckingtee.con (BT Internet Abuse) wrote:
Your slanderous comments about our great Empire are intolerable. The British Empire is far more than just the Falkland Islands. Why, there's also St Helena (lovely place, just don't ask me to find it on the map) and that other one...oh, what's it called? Next to Taiwan. Or am I thinking of something else? I think we gave that one back actually. Well, we've got a station in Antarctica! One day we'll even send a crew down there! Then you'll be sorry! -- >m>>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!111!!!!!!!111!!!!!!! [mhm23x23] >e>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!222!!!!!!!222!!!!!! [Smeeter 31] >o>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!333!!!!!!!333!!!!!!!!!!!!! [T253] >w>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!444!!!!!!!444!!!!!!!!!!! [KotAGoR] Dear Medicalcatastrophe@beefuckingteesupport: You snipped the best part, the "ps:". You do realize that since I am posting from one of the few remaining colonies of the UK, I took my life and posting future in my hands when I made those boldly anti-Brit statements? I mean hell, Britian has tried, ever since 1867, to pawn off Canada, and nobody is interested. Lately we've been invaded by ex-colonials from Hong Kong, so perhaps since they were successful in getting that country booted out of the Empire they may be able to fuck this place up enough that the Queen (tm) will dump this place too. I'm hoping that we get annexed by some really cool place, like maybe Freedonia, or Monaco, or perhaps New Scotland. All it'll take to defeat the "mighty" Canadian Armed Forces is to wait for both of the guys with the keys to the armed skidoo to go on vacation in Montana and it's all over bar the shouting... The spare keys for the armed skidoo are kept under the floormat of the Air Canada Centre Zamboni if anyone is interested... Spooge You're in, d00d. Canada has been annexed by the Empire of Meow. Long Live The Empire!
From yes.we.have.no@bannanas.today Mon Oct 04 01:47:35 1999 On Sun, 03 Oct 1999 23:58:49 GMT, x@y.com (ß|µß - The Toast With The Most!) wrote:
I can't believe this "spooge" character. Just get a load of *this*.
-- >m>>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!111!!!!!!!111!!!!!!! [mhm23x23] >e>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!222!!!!!!!222!!!!!! [Smeeter 31] >o>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!333!!!!!!!333!!!!!!!!!!!!! [T253] >w>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!444!!!!!!!444!!!!!!!!!!! [KotAGoR]Dear Medicalcatastrophe@beefuckingteesupport: You snipped the best part, the "ps:". You do realize that since I am posting from one of the few remaining colonies of the UK, I took my life and posting future in my hands when I made those boldly anti-Brit statements? I mean hell, Britian has tried, ever since 1867, to pawn off Canada, and nobody is interested. Lately we've been invaded by ex-colonials from Hong Kong, so perhaps since they were successful in getting that country booted out of the Empire they may be able to fuck this place up enough that the Queen (tm) will dump this place too. I'm hoping that we get annexed by some really cool place, like maybe Freedonia, or Monaco, or perhaps New Scotland. All it'll take to defeat the "mighty" Canadian Armed Forces is to wait for both of the guys with the keys to the armed skidoo to go on vacation in Montana and it's all over bar the shouting... The spare keys for the armed skidoo are kept under the floormat of the Air Canada Centre Zamboni if anyone is interested... Spooge You're in, d00d. Canada has been annexed by the Empire of Meow. BUT FIRST, we need to NUKE quebec.
Long Live The Empire!
From Disgusted@Bradford-on-Avon.com Mon Oct 04 20:26:56 1999
[Rocky's reply is the first to appear in BTi's version of aipub... trust
he will forgive me for replying to another colonial/convict/black sheep/ne'er-do-well]
On Thu, 30 Sep 1999 19:21:30 GMT, Disgusted@Bradford-on-Avon.com mumbled like a drunken English fop:
Better than having a shouting match with my shirt and tie.
Stop crying about having your asses kicked in 1776.
Oh, here we go! It's the still-in-denial-because-we-haven't-got-a-Queen
syndrome! 1776, by the way, was YESTERDAY to those who have some *real* history
behind them.
Why can't you people learn to cook?
Oh? Are you going to teach us how to render our food bearable with catsup
and tabasco?
The word is not pronounced centrah, it's pronounced center.
Since when - even in your insane country - is the letter e pronounced "ah"?
You do realize that the spelling you use is fucking french, right?
Yours is Latin, and you think WE'RE pretentious?
BTi Support is located in Thurso, a remote, God-forsaken town in the far North of Scotland. This town used to supply labour (why can't you naive colonials spell labour?)
Why can't the land of the free win a war without the help of a little European island? Oh - correction - I've just remembered Grenada. Why include a fucking "U" that you don't pronounce? Why not throw in a couple of "zed's" and a fucking X and Y too? Why not try expanding your vocabulary, instead of wondering why you don't spell "couple" as "cupl"?
breeder reactor; this was supposedly an experimental "super-efficient" means of generating power but was in fact used to produce the plutonium needed for the US weapons programme (why can't you Marmite-haters spell programme?).
Now that you've got enough of the stuff to destroy the planet 10 times over with enough left over to manufacture a new McRelish,
This from a land whose sole contribution to international cuisine is the
hamburger?
You people can't even cook peas for Bob's sake.
Mmm... mushy peas!
blackspot's inhabitants, the only alternative to unemployment is temporary contract work - without adequate training - providing Support for a poorly-managed and underequipped ISP.
Wouldn't know. Haven't seen a hint of it here since 1979. Wish we spent
as much on public healthcare as you do.
Before giving the poor buggers yet more stick, why don't you maple syrup-eaters learn to spell - and pronounce - aluminium?
Whereas you prefer to cut down somebody else's.
<munch>
Your slanderous comments about our great Empire are intolerable. The British Empire is far more than just the Falkland Islands. Why, there's also St Helena (lovely place, just don't ask me to find it on the map)and that other one...oh, what's it called? Next to Taiwan. Or am I thinking of something else? I think we gave that one back actually. Well, we've got a station in Antarctica! One day we'll even send a crew down there! Then you'll be sorry!
You forgot Bermuda, for one, which just voted by a large majority to stay
British. That's another country, by the way, in which the Yanks can no longer
afford to maintain a presence.
<chomp>
--
From jo Mon Oct 04 20:51:54 1999
Disgusted of Bradford-on-Avon
wrote: Jim Callaghan, a socialist? Give us a break.
From p.boulding Mon Oct 04 22:40:44 1999
On Mon, 04 Oct
1999 19:51:54 GMT, jo@home.now(jo) wrote: You have a point. Now I come to think of it, Ted Heath was the last socialist
Prime Minister.
--
From jo Mon Oct 04 23:18:27 1999
Peter Boulding
wrote: Scary, innit?
From abuse@beefuckingtee.con Mon Oct 04 23:37:27 1999
jo wrote: And we can't even vote Loony now his Lordship's gone.
Anybody got a rope?
-- >m>>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!111!!!!!!!111!!!!!!! [mhm23x23] >e>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!222!!!!!!!222!!!!!! [Smeeter 31] >o>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!333!!!!!!!333!!!!!!!!!!!!! [T253] >w>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!444!!!!!!!444!!!!!!!!!!! [KotAGoR]
From spooge Tue Oct 05 00:34:09 1999 On Mon, 04 Oct 1999 19:51:54 GMT, jo wrote:
Disgusted of Bradford-on-Avon wrote:
Well, if that was the only part of the earlier message that you found to
be inaccurate, I'm quite happy.
I take that to mean that you agree with me that:
a) You can't cook I would argue the socialisim part with you because here in The Almost Last
Remaining Colony (tm) we are cursed with a system, based upon the British template,
that is so bogged down with socialist crap we fall farther and farther behind
real 1st World countries every day. All of this junk is the product of ideas
imported (with appropriate hyper taxes calculated and collected by a bloated
Snivel Service of course) from GB. However, since Canada will soon become a
colony of Quebec, we won't have to suffer under the pathetic Parlimentary system
of government for too much longer. I look forward to the day that HRH appoints
a bowl of poutine as the Prime Ministre du Canaduh.
Your concurrence with the majority of my previous observations has been
duly recorded. HTH
Spooge
"I used to be disgusted.
From jo Tue Oct 05 01:37:39 1999
spooge wrote:
Compared to you lot, my cat can cook.
b) You can't win wars without our assistance
Did you ever get to one on time?
c) British English uses extra wasted letters
American/Canadian English is a contradiction in terms.
d) You are still pissed
True.
e) Your future king looks like a horse
Come on. ALL of our future kings look like horses.
I would argue the socialisim part with you because here in The Almost Last Remaining Colony (tm) we are cursed with a system, based upon the British template, that is so bogged down with socialist crap we fall farther and farther behind real 1st World countries every day. All of this junk is the product of ideas imported (with appropriate hyper taxes calculated and collected by a bloated Snivel Service of course) from GB. However, since Canada will soon become a colony of Quebec, we won't have to suffer under the pathetic Parlimentary system of government for too much longer. I look forward to the day that HRH appoints a bowl of poutine as the Prime Ministre du Canaduh.
Errr...Merde! Vive les Quebecois!
Your concurrence with the majority of my previous observations has been duly recorded.
Titter avec mirth.
HTH
Pas du tout.
From spooge Tue Oct 05 07:07:51 1999
On Tue, 05 Oct 1999 00:37:39 GMT, jo wrote:
spooge@KAKmybc.com wrote:
Please subscribe me to your List of Great English Cooks.
b) You can't win wars without our assistance
As I recall Iron Maggie gave the Argies about 3 months warning before the
big "invasion" of the sheep fields. Anybody can be on time with that kind of
pre-planning. The same strategy was also followed for Desert Storm. Funny, but
I don't recall any ships being lost in the latter example...
c) British English uses extra wasted letters
Trutuh bue tolud wue iun Canadua arue supposeud tuo usue Britisuh Englisuh
nout 'Mericaun Englisuh, buut sincue Iu donu't (usualluy) Iu havue lotu's ouf
sparue extrua "Uu's" availablue... Woulud youu likue tuo havue au feuw?
d) You are still pissed
Yeah, well in the early 70's the 'merican's had a similar experience...what
goes around comes around.
e) Your future king looks like a horse
Okay, I'll cut some slack here, seems to me that the physical traits were
imported into the lineage via some unfortunate cross-breeding from the Continent,
wot?
I would argue the socialisim part with you because here in The Almost Last Remaining Colony (tm) we are cursed with a system, based upon the British template, that is so bogged down with socialist crap we fall farther and farther behind real 1st World countries every day. All of this junk is the product of ideas imported (with appropriate hyper taxes calculated and collected by a bloated Snivel Service of course) from GB. However, since Canada will soon become a colony of Quebec, we won't have to suffer under the pathetic Parlimentary system of government for too much longer. I look forward to the day that HRH appoints a bowl of poutine as the Prime Ministre du Canaduh.
But how could anybody support a group that eat their chips with gravy AND
cheese curds...? It looks like someone yacked up a glass of milk on the chips...
then again is not one of the favored dishes in Britian something called "mushy
peas"...?
Your concurrence with the majority of my previous observations has been duly recorded.
Merci. La livre du ma tante est dans la table. (Wow, I doubt that anyone
has ever mangled French quite that well on usenet before)!
HTH
Les Canadiens sont la.
Spooge
"I used to be disgusted. But now I try to be amused."
From jo Tue Oct 05 19:55:33 1999
spooge wrote:
Please subscribe me to your List of Great English Cooks.
Fanny Craddock, Two Fat Ladies, Graham Kerr.
Name a famous Canadian.
From spooge Wed Oct 06 08:34:35 1999
On Tue, 05 Oct
1999 18:55:33 GMT, jo wrote: Harvey, Tim Horton, the person who invented back bacon.
Not famous Canadian cooks: The person who invented poutine, the person who decided to pollute pizza
with pineapple, the guy who decided that my $30.00 "rare" steak last Friday
night should be done medium and not the way I ordered it. He can go work at
McDonald's any time.
Spooge
From s.d.carter Wed Oct 06 19:14:13 1999
On Tue, 05 Oct
1999 18:55:33 GMT, jo@home.now(jo) wrote: Bryan Adams
s.d.carter
From jo Wed Oct 06 21:58:42 1999
Stephen Carter
wrote: That's like saying Tintin's a famous Belgian.
From p boulding Wed Oct 06 22:00:40 1999
On Wed, 06 Oct
1999 20:58:42 GMT, jo@home.now(jo) wrote: Leonard Cohen. --
From PeterNOSPAM@flonk.org Wed Oct 06 17:54:49 1999
spooge wrote:
On Mon, 04 Oct 1999 19:51:54 GMT, jo wrote:
I hace removed all those extra wasted lettres fro yuo. HTHT.
Peter
{Peter 'Pet' Miller ICQ:37501548 <*> DestyNova(at)wgp(dot)org}
{ "Who's Peter Miller?" "hes juts this guy, yuo know?"--balloo & omny³ }
{The Empire of Meow has cancelled all of its third world debt. }
{Sign the petition and make the real governments do the same. }
{>>>---------------------------------->> http://www.jubilee2000uk.org/ }
{IRC:Darkyoung AIM:LordMiller AAVF3 & B5: http://wgp.org/home/aavf3/}
From abuse@beefuckingtee.con Mon Oct 04 22:42:03 1999 ZFE aka Rocky aka
el loco roco aka......... >m>>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!111!!!!!!!111!!!!!!! [mhm23x23] >e>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!222!!!!!!!222!!!!!! [Smeeter 31] >o>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!333!!!!!!!333!!!!!!!!!!!!! [T253] >w>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!444!!!!!!!444!!!!!!!!!!! [KotAGoR] Dear Medicalcatastrophe@beefuckingteesupport: You snipped the best part, the "ps:". You do realize that since I am posting from one of the few remaining colonies of the UK, I took my life and posting future in my hands when I made those boldly anti-Brit statements? I mean hell, Britian has tried, ever since 1867, to pawn off Canada, and nobody is interested. Lately we've been invaded by ex-colonials from Hong Kong, so perhaps since they were successful in getting that country booted out of the Empire they may be able to fuck this place up enough that the Queen (tm) will dump this place too. I'm hoping that we get annexed by some really cool place, like maybe Freedonia, or Monaco, or perhaps New Scotland. All it'll take to defeat the "mighty" Canadian Armed Forces is to wait for both of the guys with the keys to the armed skidoo to go on vacation in Montana and it's all over bar the shouting... The spare keys for the armed skidoo are kept under the floormat of the Air Canada Centre Zamboni if anyone is interested... Spooge You're in, d00d. Canada has been annexed by the Empire of Meow. BUT FIRST, we need to NUKE quebec. AND THEN, we cook sausages and beans over its glowing remains. -- >m>>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!111!!!!!!!111!!!!!!! [mhm23x23] >e>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!222!!!!!!!222!!!!!! [Smeeter 31] >o>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!333!!!!!!!333!!!!!!!!!!!!! [T253] >w>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!444!!!!!!!444!!!!!!!!!!! [KotAGoR]
From nik Wed Oct 13 10:45:34 1999 flonking
From spooge Mon Oct 04 22:57:12 1999 On Mon, 04 Oct
1999 00:47:35 GMT, ZFE aka Rocky aka el loco roco aka......... <yes.we.have.no@bannanas.today>
wrote: >m>>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!111!!!!!!!111!!!!!!! [mhm23x23] >e>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!222!!!!!!!222!!!!!! [Smeeter 31] >o>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!333!!!!!!!333!!!!!!!!!!!!! [T253] >w>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!444!!!!!!!444!!!!!!!!!!! [KotAGoR]Dear Medicalcatastrophe@beefuckingteesupport: You snipped the best part, the "ps:". You do realize that since I am posting from one of the few remaining colonies of the UK, I took my life and posting future in my hands when I made those boldly anti-Brit statements? I mean hell, Britian has tried, ever since 1867, to pawn off Canada, and nobody is interested. Lately we've been invaded by ex-colonials from Hong Kong, so perhaps since they were successful in getting that country booted out of the Empire they may be able to fuck this place up enough that the Queen (tm) will dump this place too. I'm hoping that we get annexed by some really cool place, like maybe Freedonia, or Monaco, or perhaps New Scotland. All it'll take to defeat the "mighty" Canadian Armed Forces is to wait for both of the guys with the keys to the armed skidoo to go on vacation in Montana and it's all over bar the shouting... The spare keys for the armed skidoo are kept under the floormat of the Air Canada Centre Zamboni if anyone is interested... Spooge You're in, d00d. Canada has been annexed by the Empire of Meow. BUT FIRST, we need to NUKE quebec. Long Live The Empire! DeWd, don't even get me started on Kwebec... too late. We gotta NUKE them cheese curd eating amphibians ASAP. They've laready started invading the Wet Coast. All of our cops out here come from Kwebec. If'n ya get pulled over for forgetting that the speed limit is in Kilometres per Hour, not Miles per Hour (my bad) ya can't even understand what the fuck the dewd or dewdette is sayin'. "Hexcoose me chan vous ghive to me the license d'conduire? The limit du la spheed dans dis rue est quatre-vinght dix huit hand yhoo hexheeded her by beaucoup eye tink." I think it's an insidious plan to get their stinking pieds in the port. first my fuckin' Frosted Flakes were defaced with "Tony Le Tigre", an now it's the fuckin' Gendarmies Royale du Canada. I'm thinking their pepsi lovin' plan is to strt here, then head for Louisiana, they been pissed ever since they lost New Orleans, because they can't party like that in Kwebec. The only good thing about Kwebec is their work for seal (you know, the cute little animals that the Goveurnment du Canada pays unemployed fishermen to club part way to death). Fuck. That's french for seal. So seal the french. Today. Spooge "stop now fucknut, you don't want none of the King of the Internet, that
would be suicide.."
From PeterNOSPAM@flonk.org Wed Oct 06 17:54:54 1999 spooge@KAKmybc.com wrote:
On Mon, 04 Oct 1999 00:47:35 GMT, ZFE aka Rocky aka el loco roco aka......... <yes.we.have.no@bannanas.today> wrote:
-- >m>>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!111!!!!!!!111!!!!!!! [mhm23x23] >e>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!222!!!!!!!222!!!!!! [Smeeter 31] >o>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!333!!!!!!!333!!!!!!!!!!!!! [T253] >w>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!444!!!!!!!444!!!!!!!!!!! [KotAGoR] Dear Medicalcatastrophe@beefuckingteesupport: You snipped the best part, the "ps:". You do realize that since I am posting from one of the few remaining colonies of the UK, I took my life and posting future in my hands when I made those boldly anti-Brit statements? I mean hell, Britian has tried, ever since 1867, to pawn off Canada, and nobody is interested. Lately we've been invaded by ex-colonials from Hong Kong, so perhaps since they were successful in getting that country booted out of the Empire they may be able to fuck this place up enough that the Queen (tm) will dump this place too. I'm hoping that we get annexed by some really cool place, like maybe Freedonia, or Monaco, or perhaps New Scotland. All it'll take to defeat the "mighty" Canadian Armed Forces is to wait for both of the guys with the keys to the armed skidoo to go on vacation in Montana and it's all over bar the shouting... The spare keys for the armed skidoo are kept under the floormat of the Air Canada Centre Zamboni if anyone is interested... Spooge You're in, d00d. Canada has been annexed by the Empire of Meow. BUT FIRST, we need to NUKE quebec. Long Live The Empire! DeWd, don't even get me started on Kwebec... too late. We gotta NUKE them cheese curd eating amphibians ASAP. They've laready started invading the Wet Coast. All of our cops out here come from Kwebec. If'n ya get pulled over for forgetting that the speed limit is in Kilometres per Hour, not Miles per Hour (my bad) ya can't even understand what the fuck the dewd or dewdette is sayin'. "Hexcoose me chan vous ghive to me the license d'conduire? The limit du la spheed dans dis rue est quatre-vinght dix huit hand yhoo hexheeded her by beaucoup eye tink." I think it's an insidious plan to get their stinking pieds in the port. first my fuckin' Frosted Flakes were defaced with "Tony Le Tigre", an now it's the fuckin' Gendarmies Royale du Canada. I'm thinking their pepsi lovin' plan is to strt here, then head for Louisiana, they been pissed ever since they lost New Orleans, because they can't party like that in Kwebec. Ah, New Orleans! The warm nights, the relaxing hum of the termite swarms... Peter
--
{Peter 'Pet' Miller ICQ:37501548 <*> DestyNova(at)wgp(dot)org}
{ "Who's Peter Miller?" "hes juts this guy, yuo know?"--balloo & omny³ }
{The Empire of Meow has cancelled all of its third world debt. }
{Sign the petition and make the real governments do the same. }
{>>>---------------------------------->> http://www.jubilee2000uk.org/ }
{IRC:Darkyoung AIM:LordMiller AAVF3 & B5: http://wgp.org/home/aavf3/}
From Anna Tue Oct 05 18:13:20 1999 Well folks, this ß|µß v. disgusted match is great stuff ;o) (bar the seasoning of expletives) ! As a non-British netizen myself, I can't help siding w. ß|µß at times, when he points out some of the many inconsistencies of the English language which have had me baffled many a time ! Better skip over the dodgy ground of historic references and get down to the subject of food - God save us from either McRelish or mushy peas - nothing can beat a tasty dish of spaghetti ! Anna
From axel@bungmunch.edu Tue Oct 05 21:35:35 1999 Anna busted the following flow:
Well folks, this ß|µß v. disgusted match is great stuff ;o) (bar the seasoning of expletives) ! As a non-British netizen myself, I can't help siding w. ß|µß at times, when he points out some of the many inconsistencies of the English language which have had me baffled many a time ! Better skip over the dodgy ground of historic references and get down to the subject of food - God save us from either McRelish or mushy peas - nothing can beat a tasty dish of spaghetti !
When I was over on your side of the Pond, the American Embassy was serving
"Lamb McSpicy." I got so disgusted I almost had to leave the restaurant. The
idea of even eating in the same place that serves that is revolting.
The food at McDonald's in general was pretty bad. Even by McDonald's's
standards. I think y'all have to import your beef from France or something,
which would explain that really odd taste.
-m-e-o-w- Axel mhm23x3 - Bungmunch University Professor of Meowology, Theology GS #11 Associate Professor of History, Computer Science Bellower # -4 Creator of alt.food.mentos http://flonk.org/mhm23x3/ ICQ 7887395
From yes.we.have.no@bannanas.today Wed Oct 06 05:11:31 1999 On Tue, 05 Oct
1999 20:35:35 GMT, axel@bungmunch.edu (Axel) wrote: You sir are a god damned HERETICK.
NUKE YOU, FRANCE and Quebec.
something, which would explain that really odd taste.
-m-e-o-w- Axel mhm23x3 - Bungmunch University Professor of Meowology, Theology GS #11 Associate Professor of History, Computer Science Bellower # -4 Creator of alt.food.mentos http://flonk.org/mhm23x3/ ICQ 7887395
From axel@bungmunch.edu Wed Oct 06 16:04:54 1999 ZFE aka Rocky aka el loco roco aka.........<yes.we.have.no@bannanas.today> busted the following flow:
On Tue, 05 Oct 1999 20:35:35 GMT, axel@bungmunch.edu (Axel) wrote:
You failed to read the whole message.
something, which would explain that really odd taste.
See?
-m-e-o-w-
Axel mhm23x3 - Bungmunch University Professor of Meowology, Theology
GS #11 Associate Professor of History, Computer Science
Bellower # -4 Creator of alt.food.mentos
http://flonk.org/mhm23x3/ ICQ 7887395
anty spanm adn sleez bagde #z8364j590f62z
From yes.we.have.no@bannanas.today Thu Oct 07 00:26:05 1999
On Wed, 06 Oct 1999 15:04:54 GMT, axel@bungmunch.edu (Axel) wrote:
True pluss I'd allso been awake for 40 hours and I wasn't fully with it
anyway <G>
something, which would explain that really odd taste.
-m-e-o-w-
Axel mhm23x3 - Bungmunch University Professor of Meowology, Theology
GS #11 Associate Professor of History, Computer Science
Bellower # -4 Creator of alt.food.mentos
http://flonk.org/mhm23x3/ ICQ 7887395
anty spanm adn sleez bagde #z8364j590f62z
From p.boulding@btinternetUNSPAM.com Tue Oct 05 21:38:48 1999 On Tue, 05 Oct 1999 17:13:20 Anna wrote:
Well folks, this ß|µß v. disgusted match is great stuff ;o) (bar the seasoning of expletives) ! As a non-British netizen myself, I can't help siding w. ß|µß at times, when he points out some of the many inconsistencies of the English language which have had me baffled many a time ! Better skip over the dodgy ground of historic references and get down to the subject of food - God save us from either McRelish or mushy peas - nothing can beat a tasty dish of spaghetti !
Er - talk amongst yourselves for a moment, folks...
<whisper> For heaven's sake, Anna! What on *earth* do you think you
are doing here? This is *not* a suitable place for an innocent Italian girl...
What if your mother smells the pot smoke and bourbon fumes on your cardigan,
and works out that you've been down amongst the sawdust and spittoons, associating
with flamers, foul-mouthed Yanks, Derek Potter, and other undesirables? What
if Iain finds out you've been crossposting? What if you start talking in your
sleep and use words you've learned here? And what *are* you going to tell Father
Kelly at your next confession? </whisper>
Er, right, folks, now where were we?
--
From Anna Tue Oct 05 23:58:37 1999
On Tue, 05 Oct
1999 20:38:48 GMT, Peter Boulding wrote: <whisper back> I know I know... but I pour bleach into my bath water,
scrub myself clean and swallow a glass of bicarb every time I leave here...
noone has noticed a thing. Tell you the truth, Derek Potter is not all bad and
as for the Yanks ... well, they are just colourful - who can take them seriously?
What if Iain finds out you've been crossposting?
Yes I admit, this worries me more than all else put together... But doesn't
it get stifling in *support* now? More often than not, I have to take a breather
in the heated Italian groups to feel alive ! Thank God for aipub, and let's
hope this baby doesn't die in Derek's lap...
What if you start talking in your sleep and use words you've learned here?
... who could take exception to me getting language experience - self-improvement
and all that...
And what *are* you going to tell Father Kelly at your next confession?
My confessions are usually encrypted and anyway he forgets where he put
the key I'd given him...
But - BTW what are YOU doing here, Peter? ... wonder whether you include
yourself amongst the undesirables? </whisper>
DoBoA, Anna
From p boulding Wed Oct 06 14:45:22 1999
On Tue, 05 Oct
1999 22:58:37 GMT, Anna wrote: Of course not! I'm using alt.internet.providers.uk.btinternet and alt.binaries.nospam.teenfem.repost
for serious academic research.
DoBoA,
For Fuckley's sake! Who says I'm "disgusted of Bradford-on-Avon"?
--
From Anna Wed Oct 06 19:10:08 1999
On Wed, 06 Oct 1999 13:45:22 GMT, Peter Boulding wrote:
DoBoA,
I never thought you were ! Just my untidy way of posting... sorry ! I'd
been addressing the one and only *disgusted* one, i.e. Disgusted@B-o-A...
Lydia (tTL)
And who is the above, anyway ?? I can see I've got to watch my step and
look over my shoulder in this place ...
Anna
From Anna@Anna.net Wed Oct 06 19:46:03 1999
Anna wrote:
And who is the above, anyway ?? I can see I've got to watch my step and look over my shoulder in this place ...
You're safe with us.
From Anna Wed Oct 06 21:17:15 1999
On Wed, 06 Oct 1999 18:46:03 GMT, Anna@Anna.net(Anna) wrote:
You're safe with us.
Cheers ;o)
Anna
From see@reply.to Fri Oct 08 20:00:59 1999
In article <37fb901a.32494899@news.btinternet.com>,
Anna says... NOT me.
--
From duab Fri Oct 08 21:02:34 1999
"Chris Buckley" from "see@reply.to (Chris Buckley)", thought the readers
in alt.internet.providers.uk.btinternet, would like to read this:
NOT me.
Hello Chris, long time no hear? Well at least a week. ;)
From derek potter Sat Oct 09 01:27:29 1999
duab wrote...
It's an incantation: mention "Lydia TTL", and there's a sort of explosion
of sulphury fumes and CB materialises out of thin air... Is it true you wear
red tights, Chris?
From moc@xisabatad.tacdem Sat Oct 09 02:18:20 1999
Derek Potter wrote:
Just wait till his mum finds out what he did with her favourite tights.
-- >m>>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!111!!!!!!!111!!!!!!! [mhm23x23] >e>>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!222!!!!!!!222!!!!!! [Smeeter 31] >o>>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!333!!!!!!!333!!!!!!!!!!!!! [T253] >w>>>>>>>>>>MEDICAL CATASTROPHE!!!!!!444!!!!!!!444!!!!!!!!!!! [KotAGoR]
From duab Sat Oct 09 02:19:42 1999 "Derek Potter" thought the readers in lt.internet.providers.uk.btinternet, would like to read this:
duab wrote...
<Thermo-nuclear suit on>
*Watches with eager anticipation*
--
From jo Sat Oct 09 02:31:51 1999
Derek Potter wrote:
Is it true you wear red tights, Chris?
Only when his silver body stocking's in the wash.
From see@reply.to Sun Oct 10 05:57:24 1999
jo says... You know I love you jo :)
--
From see@reply.to Sun Oct 10 05:56:51 1999
This thread was added to my "ignore" list for some reason..??!! I have
no idea why thus the late response :(
derek potter says...
Ouch... my secret is out :)
--
From Disgusted@Bradford-on-Avon.com Tue Oct 05 21:38:50 1999
On Tue, 05 Oct
1999 17:13:20 GMT, Anna wrote: At least you have the excuse that English is not your first language.
Better skip over the dodgy ground of historic references
Well, you did conquer us once (even if it was nearly 2,000 years ago).
and get down to the subject of food - God save us from either McRelish or mushy peas - nothing can beat a tasty dish of spaghetti !
I have to grant you spaghetti (Romagna with LOADs of garlic)...
In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Italian, The bankers are Swiss. In Hell: The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The mechanics are French, The lovers are Swiss, The bankers are Italian. Notice the Yanks don't rate a mention. Regards
From lsgouro1 Wed Oct 06 00:26:14 1999 Disgusted of Bradford-on-Avon
<Disgusted@Bradford-on-Avon.com> wrote... In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Italian, The bankers are Swiss. In Hell: The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The mechanics are French, The lovers are Swiss, The bankers are Italian. Notice the Yanks don't rate a mention. Regards DoBoA The yanks run hell. HTH HAND
From spooge Wed Oct 06 08:34:40 1999 On Tue, 05 Oct
1999 17:13:20 GMT, Anna wrote: Actually, I believe it was me, not Blub, who was ruminating upon the language/food
thing. Kind of hard to tell because you didn't attach any attribution.
My mother-in-law, a "refugee" from Italy is, without a doubt, the best
cook I have ever experienced. She spent 15 years as the cook in a logging camp
on Vancouver Island Loggers have very demanding appetites to say the least.
The only bad habit that she developed was she makes way, way too much... on
second thought that is not a bad habit!
True Italian cooking is, I agree, the best food on the planet. Like anything
else when not done authentically it can be of varying quality. Not sure if this
applies equally to McDonald's over on your side of the pond, maybe here in the
colonies it is better...? Naaa, it was just a thought....
Spooge
Hey! Look Ma, not a single extra U, nor a single bad word!
From x@y.com Wed Oct 06 10:01:51 1999
I can't believe
this "spooge" character. Just get a load of *this*. I don't even know how to ruminate. My gramma told me I would go blind if
I did that.
Spooge, are you blind by any chance?
Let me know at your earliest convenience,
Thanks in advance,
Blub.
language/food thing. Kind of hard to tell because you didn't attach any attribution.
--
ZOMBIE WERETOASTER FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!!!!1!!!11!!!
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"Jesus H Christ, Blub. That was like swatting a fly with a twelve gauge."
Sergi in <7q55tk$bm0$20@nntpd.databasix.com>
** I Took A Bullet For Usenet Performance Art. **
anty spaemn adn sleiaz (bagde# hs74j72fr375a)
Knight of the Ancient Garter of Romath XXXV
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http://super-mojo.virtualave.net/blub/
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